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The Devil's Dictionary of Israeli-Palestinian Peace


As part of our ongoing services to readers, complementing articles like The Middle East in one easy lesson", we offer the Devil's Dictionary of Israeli-Palestinian Peace. The original Devil's dictionary was a compilation of often too accurate definitions by critique Ambrose Bierce that exposed hypocrisy in the use and abuse of language. Nowhere is language bent out of shape as it is in diplomacy and political propaganda, and nowhere is the phenomenon as prevalent as it is in reports of Israeli-Palestinian conflict. (see What's in a Word? for a detailed discussion.) In the hands of the spinners, suicide bombings become "non-violent action," genocidal programs are transmuted to "legitimate rights," settlement expansion becomes "self-defense."

The list is below. Many of the terms apply equally to both sides, though we are sure that partisans will insist that they only apply to "the other side."

Activist - Murderer of babies.

Advocacy - Proper presentation of truth by our side.

Agreement- Contractual basis for the next stage of hostilities.

Apartheid (Israeli) - A policy that separates terrorists from would-be victims, and car thieves from desirable automobiles.

Civil society - Armed gangs. Islamic Jihad and Hamas movements are given as
examples of "Civil Society" in a recent book.

Coexistence - see Peace.

Creative ambiguity - Meaninglessnes.

Cycle of violence - term used to shift blame from guilty parties.

Democracy - A system in which we get to tell them what to do.

Dialogue - Propagandizing the opposition.

Diplomat - Liar employed by us.

Ethnic cleansing - A process in which our people are evicted from their homes.

Historic rights - Rights (q.v.) claimed more than a month ago.

Holy site - A location that the other side wants.

Humans - Our side.

Human rights violation - Any action that violates the rights (q.v.) of humans (q.v.).

Justice- A state of affiars in which our side gets our rights (q.v.).

Legitimate- An adjective describing rights (q.v.) .

Liberation - Process of evicting their people from their homes.

Liar - Diplomat of the other side.

Lies - Any statement made by their side that is disparaging of our side.

Martyr - Murderer of their babies.

Moral relativist - Anyone who does not understand that liberation (q.v.) is legitimate, while ethnic cleansing (q.v.) is evil.

Militant - Murderer of babies.

Negotiations - Contest to see who can say "no" most persistently.

Nonviolent action - Murdering babies of the other side. A recent book described the murder of hundreds of people including 123 children as resulting from "non-violent action."

Peace - The state of affairs in which we keep their land, and they shut up and do as we say.

Propaganda - see Lies.

Proportionate response - Killing just enough of their people to ensure reprisals.

Religious fanatic - Religious head person who urges the murder of our babies.

Religious rights - The right (q.v.) to exercise sacred (q.v.) ceremonies and hold sacred beliefs.

Renunciation of violence - Pledge that violence will be outsourced to organizations with deniability.

Resistance - Murdering their babies.

Rights - Whatever our side wants.

Sacred - What our side believes.

Statesman - A corrupt rascal who has not been caught yet.

Security - A state of affairs in which only their babies get murdered.

Self defense - Murdering their babies.

Spiritual leader - Religious head person who urges the murder of their babies.

Superstition - What their side believes.

Truce - Period during which hostilities must have deniability

War crime - Any action that opposes resistance (q.v).

War criminal - Murderer of our babies.

Ami Isseroff

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Original text copyright by the author and MidEastWeb for Coexistence, RA. Posted at MidEastWeb Middle East Web Log at http://www.mideastweb.org/log/archives/00000567.htm where your intelligent and constructive comments are welcome. Distributed by MEW Newslist. Subscribe by e-mail to mew-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Please forward by email with this notice and link to and cite this article. Other uses by permission.

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